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October 1, 2009 
DC’s Funniest!

Tix on sale for Pink Jams DC, Nov 18, featuring The Justin Trawick Group. Support breast cancer awareness! Listen, then buy tix now.

Last night Beltway celebs became stand-up comedians at the DC Improv, to raise money for charity and vie for the title of DC’s Funniest Celebrity.
Chef Geoff at the DC Improv for DC's Funniest Celebrity

Chef Geoff got in on the act. He tells us it was his first time doing stand-up, so we snapped him in front of Chris Rock.

Joe the Plumber at the DC Improv for DC's Funniest Celebrity

Joe the Plumber revealed he wasn’t a blue collar tradesman named Joe Wurzelbacher, but Karl Rove’s elite half brother: "I miss my long golden locks of hair and my girlfriend, Muffy Wadsworth van Worthington. ‘Joe’ was created by me, Karl, Grover Norquist, and other members of the Illuminati."

Rep. Jackie Speier at the DC Improv for DC's Funniest Celebrity

Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA) says she’s done something scarier than stand-up: led a town hall meeting. Referring to the Americans for Tax Reform president: “I’m confused. “I always thought that a 'grover norquist' was a birth control for the muppets.”

Rep. Rick Larson and Grover Norquist at the DC Improv for DC's Funniest Celebrity

Grover (appropriately on the right) placed second, here with Rep. Rick Larsen (D-Wa), and had some great lines: "I’m drinking bourbon. Neat. No water. I never drink water. Dick Cheney tortures with it." Larsen’s top lines: “Grover is known to Democrats as the original death panel….We’re close to consensus on healthcare: Democrats want illegal immigrants to serve on the death panels. Republicans want death panels to only apply to illegal immigrants."

MPAA chief Dan Glickman at the DC Improv for DC's Funniest Celebrity

Motion Picture Association chief Dan Glickman joked of his mom’s lack of appreciation for his career. “When I told her I was named Secretary of Agriculture, she said ‘Secretary? That’s not even a promotion.’”

Austan Goolsbee and Robin Goolsbee at the DC Improv for DC's Funniest Celebrity

The winner: White House economic advisor Austan Goolsbee, with wife Robin, whom we snapped reviewing his notes before the show. His act contained tightly delivered doublespeak:

They’re bringing an amazing group to Copenhagen – the President, First Lady, and the governors (if the parole board says it's okay).

I’d like to say something about US banks (ungrateful bastards); they might have stumbled a bit (bankrupted your grandma); they learned some important lessons (spend your bonus quickly).

Senator Ben Nelson killed the public option in the Senate. Maybe we can learn something from him (stabbing in the back). There are many leading figures he reminds me of (Benedict Arnold.)

Have some sympathy for the unemployed because when Rahm Emanuel sees my comments, I’m going to be one of them!   (*video at the end of this article.)

Style Setters!


Whoever says Washington has no style wasn’t invited to last night’s Washingtonian Style Setters 2009 party at the Liaison Hotel. Nominees JM Zell Partners’ Sharon Dougherty and W catering head Mariam Karim show off their personal trends.


Nominee Co Co. Sala and Cvent’s Bharet Malhotra is flanked by Cvent’s Chuck Ghoorah and Neil Parekh. Guests enjoyed Southern food and drink from Liaison’s Art and Soul.


DJ Adrian Loving’s assistant, Laura Reading, whose boss provided the beats, DJ/producer Gavin Holland, who surprisingly didn’t make the cut with his 80’s throwback, and hair stylist Jocelyn Johnson.


Three-time world champion Flair bartender Vladymyr Buryanov juggling five liquor bottles.

Last night we headed over to Crystal City’s Bailey’s Pub and Grill to watch bartenders from all over the city compete for $1,500 at the Flair Bartending Competition. Three-time world champion Flair bartender Vladymyr Buryanov wowed the crowd when he juggled five liquor bottles.

Ravens cheerleader Jenny LaMartina, Angels Rock Bar’s Jason Banson, AKA Flannigan, and Flair Underground’s Jonas Mitchell.

The judges: Ravens cheerleader Jenny LaMartina, Angels Rock Bar’s Jason Banson, AKA Flannigan, and Flair Underground’s Jonas Mitchell.


The winner: Vladymyr, here with Pour Boy’s Patrick Donnelly.

Helping Kids!


We stopped by Old Town’s The Light Horse Tuesday night to support cancer programs at Children’s National Medical Center. Back: Children’s Foundation’s Jessica Nasser, Rubin Meyer’s Amanda Keating, Be Brave and Shave organizer Colleen Avis, Festival of Heroes co-chair Allison Portnoy, Children’s Foundation’s Judy Graham. Front: Children’s Hospital volunteer Stephanie Mitchell and Dr. Max Coppes.


Hill staffer Katie Ryan, Children’s Grace Easby-Smith, and Clare Bomsignore. All proceeds support Be Brave and Shave, Nov. 8, which features over 100 Arlington, Alexandria and Fairfax County police and firemen shaving their heads to raise money.


Guests enjoyed wine tasting sponsored by Unwined Gourmet Wine, and live jazz by Square Trio. Here: Realtor Jennifer Mackenzie, marketBreach’s Duncan Avis, and Nikki Feinsot.



Thursday, October 1 from 1:00-2:00 PM, come to Signature Theatre, Mead Lobby for Brown Bag Thursday with Jon Kalbfleisch at the piano: A Musical Walk Down Signature's Memory Lane. Jon was musical director of all the Sondheim productions that have made Signature famous, such as Sweeney Todd, and now he’s doing Show Boat. Join Jon for a musical trip that visits the best, not-so-best, and favorite musical memories of the maestro who makes the music happen at Signature Theatre, 4200 Campbell Ave, Arlington. Free and open to the public. No reservations or tickets required. Bring your lunch and join the lively interplay.


Thursday, October 1 from 6:30 p.m. – 10:00 p.m., join Rachael’s Women’s Center, in its 30th year, for its Annual Reception & Silent Auction at Columbia Square, 555 13th Street, NW to raise money for homeless women. Cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, music and silent auction. Tickets $90.00 in advance at www.rachaels.org or $110.00 at the door.

Thursday, October 1 from 7:00-10:00PM come to the Historical Society for a special closing gathering of a very special organization, Hoop Dreams Scholarship Fund, which is closing its doors after 13 years of serving the community with college scholarships for public high school students. Minimum donation $25; the funds will be transferred to a similar organization so the dream will live on. Join Susie Kay and friends by calling 202-414-8135 or ldavis@hoopdreams.org

Thursday, October 1, from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., The Renaissance Mayflower Hotel (1127 Connecticut Ave.) will host its last Thursday Night Social Club of the year.  Enjoy fall classics like S’mores and Pan-seared Duck Breast, and drink Flying Dog Brewery Dogtoberfest.  The cost is $20, all inclusive; pay at the door. http://www.hisaokapr.com/2009/09/09/mayflower-mezzanine-thursday-night-social-club/

Thursday, October 1 from 6:30-9:00PM Shopgirl's Night Out at Bloomingdale's Chevy Chase. 10% of sales in the Y.E.S. Collection on 2 goes directly back to benefit A Capital Collection of Holiday Shops, the Junior League's largest annual fundraiser, with proceeds going to support the League's efforts to promote literacy in DC. (This year it will be Nov 20-22 at the Marriott Wardman Park) Tickets are available at www.jlw.org.  

Thursday, October 1, from 6:00-8:00 PM at Chevy Chase Ralph Lauren, 5471 Wisconsin Ave, join us for an evening of cocktails and charitable shopping in support of Georgetown's Lombardi Cancer Center and the Lauren Foundation Pink Pony Fund.  RSVP Justin Baskerville 202-687-2604 or medcenterevents@georgetown.edu

Saturday, October 3, Noon-6pm - Rockville Town Square will host the 2nd Annual Jazz Festival. Enjoy food, wine, and signature drink tastings from Rockville Town Square restaurants; exclusive in-store specials and more. (Info)

*Watch Austan Goolsbee’s performance from DC’s Funniest Celebrity.


Kristina D’Ambrosio, Vanessa Meccarielli, and Mary-Kate Rasa contributed to this issue.

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